Casa Rosales

Casa Rosales

Tuesday 21 August 2012

Putting the 'fun' in 'funeral'.

On the eve of our return to Alcala la Real, we received a phone call to say that FR's abuelo, Segundo, had died. Like all expected news that is not good, there was an element of shock involved, despite the knowledge that an ailing 96 year old cannot go on forever.

We secretly think that Segundo had hung on to see all the family together over the summer before he decided it was his time to go. And he thoughtfully saved us an additional journey and gave us what turned out to be a wonderful day together to remember for all time.

Amelia and her sisters arranged things the following day and the funeral took place in the beautiful little church in Valdepolo on Friday at 12 o'clock. The church was packed with family, friends and neighbours and was a simple, solemn occasion during which one of Segundo's 11 grandchildren, Adrian, read a short, touching piece that he had written in memory of his grandfather.

In the cemetery, he was put into the burial wall in his reserved spot, just above his wife, Segundina, and then bricked in - something I have never seen before. I had always assumed the little plaques on the walls in Spanish cemeteries held urns, not whole coffins...

After this very final act, Amelia, my mother-in-law, visibly relaxed. It has been an increasingly hard job for her as she has devoted a good third of the past two and a half years, feeding, cleaning and looking after her father all day every day - sharing the task in the end with Eloina and Ines - and travelling between her own home and the apartment in Leon to do this. And now, it was over and I suspect it will take her a little time to adjust to having her own life back.

Afterwards, we walked the short distance down to the house in Valdepolo, where we'd spent much of the past four weeks and which we have grown very fond of. It's not a big house and sometimes felt a bit cramped with just the five of us. With thirty-two of us, it was hilarious! Fortunately, there was nothing but sunshine and we set to, putting tables and chairs into the garden. Ruz, another grand-daughter, was an absolute star and stood over the inadequate stove making chicken, steak, soup and tortillas for us all, with a little help from others who put together some excellent salads - but all credit to Ruz (pronounced 'Ruth') - who told me she reads this blog, which made my day!

And had what turned out to be the very best day of our holiday - full of fun, laughter, chatter and family. Segundo would, I am sure, be very proud of the family he left behind and which I am happy to be part of.

Chefs at work

Let the feasting commence


An excellent spread

There was not much left, either

Family 

16 comments:

  1. I always think that when someone of such a good age dies that it shouldn't be a sombre occasion. To live such a long life is a real cause for celebration. It seems like your family managed to get it right xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I so agree with you, Ayak. And I was very impressed by the way my Spanish family managed the day - and glad to be a part of it too. Axx

      Delete
  2. Annie - I enjoyed the story of the day and completely agree with Ayak. It's always sad when somebody passes, but after such a good innings it should be more of a celebration ... although that is not always easy. I hope the rest of the holiday was a good time for you all.
    A x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Andy - good to hear from you. It was a long life he had and he'd been through a lot, including dialysis twice a week for the past thirty years! I think that actually extended his life even though the process is quite gruelling - but twice a week, he had completely clean blood in his veins. This is another story. And so is the rest of the holiday. Axxx

      Delete
  3. This is how we do things in my family in the UK, we celebrate the life of the person rather than mourn their passing especially if they were like Secundo of a good age or had been ill and great pain. After the funeral, we too have a family gettogether and remember all the good times

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your comment, Wendy. I agree with your words and it is how I remember the funerals of both my own grandparents - celebration and fond memories. I was glad to be part of my Spanish family's day. Ax

      Delete
  4. This is how it should be done Annie... your words are perfect and it seems the "do" was too. Glad to have you back. I'm looking forward to hearing more about your stay here, and maybe more thoughts on the funeral as the days go by, and you spend more time considering the occasion. Lots of love Janice xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely, Janice - although I want a cardboard box for a coffin and a nice shady tree. I was a bit shocked to discover the final resting place, though why I hadn't thought about it before, I don't know. Lots to tell about our holiday as soon as I find the time. Thank you, Axxx

      Delete
  5. The end of a long and full life should be celebrated and it sounds like you all did it wonderfully well, Annie. 96 is a great age to have reached and I bet you swapped a lot of affectionate memories and funny stories in the course of the day. Lovely to see you back from your holidays. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He was a charming man who was always very kind and welcoming to me even though I saw him infrequently and didn't always speak as good Spanish as I do now. I think the whole family did him proud on the day and what I didn't capture was the church that was overflowing with people who wanted to say goodbye - that was very touching.
      Thank you - I have a lot of catching up to do now. Looking forward to reading your blog again too, Perpetua. Axxx

      Delete
  6. It sounds as if the family had had time to adjust to the idea...so were able to celebrate his long life together whole heartedly.
    What a wonderful memorial to him...a happy family gathering.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Fly; you're quite right - after his long illness, sadness was tinged with relief. And despite the sadness, the celebration was genuine and well deserved. We will all remember the day for a long time to come.
      Axxx

      Delete
  7. An uplifting post, Annie. A passing to remember with sadness tinged with pride. Sadness for the loss of a loved one but pride in how the family were able to celebrate Segundo's life, and find a way to move forward.

    I'm sure memories of Segundo and how he touched the lives of his family, will live on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Gaynor - it was indeed 'a passing to remember' - you put it perfectly. It was very similar in feeling and sentiment to my own grandfather's funeral 17 years ago and of which I still have very happy memories.
      Axx

      Delete
  8. So sad, but what a wonderfully positive way to remember him.
    Hope your well Annie - seems like ages since I have seen a post from you. Having a little giveaway over at A Good Year if your interested
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Sophie - a month is a long time and it's going to take me a while to catch up on all my favourite blogs, yours included, but I will pop on immediately to see how things are with you. Axx

      Delete

I welcome your comments - it makes blogging even more fun to know someone is reading!