Casa Rosales

Casa Rosales

Saturday 3 November 2012

Recurrent dreams

Do you have dreams that occur again and again? I've had one particular one on and off for around thirty five years - if that sounds a long time to you, it sounds almost unbelievable to me. First a little preamble, of course...

I needed glasses almost overnight when I was about 10. One day, I could see the blackboard, the next I could not. I kept quiet about it for quite a long time - I didn't want glasses, so I tried to avoid copying from the board as much as possible, but after one parents' evening, I had to confess that the reason I never could do 'moon times' (working out how long the moon was visible in the sky each night) was because our teacher wrote it in very small writing at the top corner of the board and I simply couldn't see it.

I got some awful glasses soon after that and although I wore them at home to watch the television, I never wore them at school - they were too hideous and I was awfully shy, embarrassed and self-conscious. (Apparently very vain as well!) For two years at Junior High School, I 'managed' to do my work without drawing attention to the fact that I couldn't see properly. Then, before starting High School, I got some new frames - fine, gold, hexagonal frames - and I could bear to be seen in them. As well as to see in them!

I still hated wearing glasses though and felt invisible behind them. As soon as I was allowed and the optician would prescribe them, I got some contact lenses - the hard, rather uncomfortable type - I was just 16 and wore them for my very last 'O' level exam; it was Biology. And from being a shy, awkward teenager with glasses, I became a rather extroverted individual as I started sixth form - new-born, myself, no longer shy, confident....shades of who I am now, rather than what I had been for most of my childhood. This radical change I felt around the age of 16 may have been connected to wearing contact lenses, rather than glasses, or it could be just a complete coincidence, but for me, my contact lenses became a crucial part of living a normal life. I don't feel properly human til I've got them in my eyes each day.

I went through a very brief phase where I felt I ought to wear glasses from time to time - I had heard of people not being able to wear their lenses as they got older. I was concerned by this so thought I should 'prepare'. The day I went out in the car wearing glasses, I drove into the back of someone in a carpark and burst the radiator on my car! It meant something. Glasses are not for me!

My recurrent dream is about my contact lenses. I don't know if it's a typical lens-wearer's dream or just my own paranoia. I dream that one or both of my lenses break into pieces (they are hard lenses still, though gas-permeable now - I can't do with soft ones at all) but I keep on wearing the little bits, trying really hard to see through them. I honestly can't count the number of times I've had this dream but it is regular, recurring and always vivid - and over many, many years.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I contact the optician who last supplied my with my lenses to see if I could have another pair, same prescription, but an extra, spare, just-in-case pair. They said no, my prescription had expired and I couldn't have more without visiting them - in Huddersfield. So I went to get my eyes checked at our hospital here and was told they were absolutely fine, no problems - just go to an optician here if I need any more. I decided I'd continue as I was for the time being. Why worry, all is well.

Last night, at around 9pm, we had a power failure. It was just us, the rest of the street was fine. Our landlord said he'd come in the morning but not before, so we hunted out candles and rather enjoyed the peace and calm that being without the television or computer brought about. It brought back memories of a lovely party we once had in the UK - our last Christmas there, though we didn't know it at the time - when, just ten minutes before our guests were due to arrive, all the lights went out! Again, we found candles, managed to get them lit and the table laid before anyone arrived. And we went on to have a brilliant evening - the children playing games in the darkness, with lots of squeals and screams - so much so that it was quite a disappointment when the lights suddenly came back on after a couple of hours!

Anyhow, last night, we went to bed quite early, groping around to find nightclothes and me, fire-conscious, blowing candles out a little previously, so that bathroom ablutions were done in the dark - including putting my lenses in their case - no problem, been doing it for years! And my dreams during the long, dark night were wild and totally unrelated to putting broken lenses in my eye.

Until the memory suddenly came back to me as I struggled to understand why my left lens wasn't fitting properly this morning - seriously uncomfortable and no light to see what was wrong! I called FR in some distress and he came running with a torch - then inadvisably touched my lower eyelid, where upon I felt a tremendous pain. With the torch and a mirror, I managed to extract my lens.... or just over half of it!



I can only imagine I must have caught the lens badly in its case last night and cracked it. No amount of looking has located the missing bits!

What a shame I have no other, more exciting recurrent dreams that may materialise in the same way.
What are yours?





20 comments:

  1. More like a nightmare to have a broken contact lens in ones eye!

    Like you I have worn hard and now gas permeable lenses for nearly 40 years and have always managed remarkably well.

    The closest I've come to a break was when the lens shattered as I picked it out of the case. I can't imagine having a broken one in my eye as you did, which would have sent me into a complete panic!

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  2. I've never broken one before. What's bizarre, Gaynor, is that I put it IN my eye in that state! I've looked for the other bit but can't find it anywhere. It was excruciatingly uncomfortable and made worse by being in semi-darkness. So strange that I've always dreamt it would happen. Axxx

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  3. Ouch, Annie, NOT nice! Hope you can get a new pair soon.

    I wore glasses from the age of 9 until I was prescribed the early hard lenses in he mid-1970s. After those I wore gas-permeables very comfortably unril about 6 years ago, when I was taking Arimidex for breast cancer and had to revert to glasses, as my eyes became too dry to wear lenses comfortably. I'm now happily wearing varifocals and managing fine.

    As for recurring dreams, my two main ones involve either being somewhere very high (not fun with my fear of heights) or being unprepared for something important, like an exam I haven't revised for or a service I have to take without my sermon notes or my robes. Classic anxiety dreams I reckon. :-)

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    1. Hi, Perpetua, I keep looking at that photo and thinking I was lucky not to have damaged my eye badly. Fortunately, I found an old one (a left one!) in one of my little cosmetic bags and it feels fine. I will go to the opticians soon. I do have classic anxiety dreams sometimes but nothing like the lenses ones. Wonder if they'll stop now??
      Axxx

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  4. How lucky you are not to have been injured....I have never taken to the idea of lens at all, so stick to my glasses, with emergency cheapo pairs at every place I am likely to need them as I lose them so often.

    I rarely dream, as far as I am aware, and only had a recurrent dream when a child when a cube of melted cheese (think Mr. Cube in size) would climb over the end of the bed and advance on me, its cheesy strings dangling behind it.
    Let Jung loose on that one!

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    1. Thank you Fly. I really couldn't be without my lenses but I now need reading glasses - which I manage to lose at a dreadful rate too!
      As for that dream! As bad as my sister's when she dreamt she was a jelly cube in a swimming pool - dissolving herself . Too much cheese before bedtime!! Axxx

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  5. Like "the fly in the web" I have many pairs of colourful cheapo specs all over the place. And I rarely dream (have I grown to old to dream?)but I do remember a recurring one about forgetting to dress for school and arriving in my knickers and liberty bodice (definitely, I'm too old to dream!)

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    1. Interestingly, wearing cheap, colourful reading glasses is no problem to me at all! I have lots of pairs and quite enjoy peering over the top of them at my students!! And Nilly! Shame on you - never, never too old to dream! I had a similar anxiety dream, only I had dressed but forgotten the knickers...may say more about me.
      You must dream - please say you'll try! Axxx

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  6. This is truly terrifying Annie...the dream....and the reality. I recognise the change that coincided with the adoption of lenses. My best friend at school changed from a small bespectacled little 15 year old to an absolutely gorgeous tall, confident swan like 16 year old.
    My recurring dream is about not having the right qualifications for something. It has always been a wonderful feeling when fully awake to realise that actually I did have all the required letters after my name....and I did't have to resit anything.
    I hope your eye is ok. Jx

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    1. Thanks Janice. Now the pain has subsided and no lasting damage, it is more fascinating than terrifying. Never painful in the dream, more an experimentation as to whether I could see with a broken lens. Now I know for definite that I can't - I wonder if I'll dream it again? (And I must stress I didn't do a swan-like thing at 16 - that was my sister! Mine was much more a confidence thing.)

      Interestingly, your recurrent dream was my waking dread - I spent years of my working life feeling like a fraud because I had done so badly in my finals at Uni. Took me quite some time to work that one. And funny that you (nor I) have never felt the need to write those letters after our names...

      Everything crossed for things going smoothly on Tuesday. I will be in touch before then. Be assured you are in my thoughts. I send you lots of love.
      Axxx

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  7. I freak out at the thought of even a speck of dust in my eye, so the thought of lenses horrifies me. I stick with my varifocals. How odd that your recurring dream eventually became reality, a kind of premonition really, so maybe the dream will stop now it's happened.

    I did a blog post once about dreams. I have some very vivid ones at times, along with the typical anxiety one where I'm trying to get somewhere and am stopped by so many obstacles along the way.

    Hope you haven't damaged your eye xxx

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    1. Hi Ayak - thank you for your concern and so sorry if this post is a bit freaky for those with sensitive eyes! My eye is absolutely fine and I was lucky to find (despite several moves) an old, spare lens that fits and is still OK! After years and years of lens wearing, my eyes are quite tough and not much bothers me. I too am wondering if the dream will stop now...

      I could do a whole blog on dreams! I too have very vivid ones and can remember them as I remember memories from years and years ago. The classic anxiety ones, I have, but some of my others have been utterly bizarre and highly memorable. Time for a bit of memory dredging perhaps - I'll look out your dream post too.
      Axxx

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  8. Hello Annie:
    Gosh, this is a gruesome tale. We are both extremely squeamish about contact lenses and so, geeky or not, see the world through spectacles.

    Perhaps the dreams will stop now? Now, that really would be strange....we shall have to wait and see if you have further dreams to report. Indeed, we rarely remember our dreams but, when we can, they seem to be about moving furniture in some form or another.Of course, the furniture never quite fits the space in which it has to be placed and so must be continually moved around.... to no avail of course.Maybe one day we too shall find the perfect fit and all will be well and dreamless from that point on?!!!

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    1. Now I am convinced that Jane and Lance Hattat really are perfectly joined. Shared, furniture-moving dreams. You two are a real pair! But you are quite right to be curious - if a dream is resolved in real life, does it stop being a 'problem' dream.
      Everyone dreams - it's all about recall, of course. I'm sure if your furniture feels right, there's no need to dream about it any more but you should always have dreams, don't you think?
      Axxx

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  9. Ouch! A committed contact lense wearer for 25 years, I am now lazily wearing my glasses, but despite having varifocals I spend most of the day taking them off to get a better view. I haven't had many dreams since I moved back to Turkey, which probably shows that dreams are a result of a restless mind. For over 30 years, I used to dream about having to sit my history A-level without doing any revision.

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    1. I hope I can always wear lenses but as my vision deteriorates, I suspect I will opt for varifocals too. I also suspect I will take them on and off as you describe - I hate not being able to see clearly!!
      I believe everyone dreams - just not everyone remembers. Maybe you don't feel the need to remember now you're back in Turkey.
      And Annie, I bet you could sit your History A-level tomorrow and pass with flying colours!
      Axxx

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  10. Ouch re the contact lense. My recurring dream was about being chased by a lion. I always managed to make it into a block of flats, up many flights of stairs, key in the lock of a door, shut the door feeling safe and turn round to see the lion stood there waiting for me. I always woke up at that point.......... I haven't had that dream for years and don't wish to either, I can tell you!

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    1. I'll bet! Glad it has ceased chasing you now - or you've stopped running away. Curious what things go through our heads without our control, isn't it? Thanks, Axxx

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  11. That would just really scare me… ouch. T_T
    Maybe it was telling you that it'd happen if you wasn't too careful. x.x;

    When I was 6 I used to have dreams within a dream, the first dream would always consist of an endless library and each book represented a dream, which ever one you opened or were forced to open you had to go with… well I ended up stumbling into the nightmare section and got lost in there for moths haha.
    So lots and lots of nightmares for a while, fun. I think I've only revisited that library once again in 2010… weird dreams.

    Other reoccurring themes in dreams when I was younger was cars driving themselves and crashing into walls at high speeds when I'm inside them… and lots of flying and falling dreams. xD

    I think I'm all dreamed out though because I hardly dream at all now. :)

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    1. You're far too young to be dreamed out, Roseanne, though that first idea is wild - falling into a nightmare section - great idea for a book! I still dream a lot - the trick is trying to remember them. I always try to remember mine though some are horrid and then I try to forget them!
      Axxx

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