Casa Rosales

Casa Rosales

Friday 1 February 2013

Variation on a theme

In my last post, I wrote about locking myself and the children out of the house. It was written with the bravura of someone who has escaped a problem by the seat of her pants. We got into the house without too much hassle and if we hadn't had so much fun, I'd have sworn the children to secrecy. As it was, I was quite happy to deal with FR's reaction, though I only confessed to my act of forgetfulness so that Ruy could have his moment of glory - well deserved as it was. FR's potential disapproval was completely thwarted - I knew he wanted to tell me what he really thought, but he had to contain it somewhat. It's not always like that though....

I have found it better over the years to keep my little moments of weakness away from the harsh and critical eye of my husband. He's not one to suffer fools gladly and finds fools throw themselves at him wherever he goes. Personally, I reckon it's just bad karma that he's stored up over the years and he should try to be more tolerant, more generous and less impatient. And that's just towards me and the children.

His 'not amused' attitude puts Queen V to shame at times though when he's being disapproving, I am often overwhelmed by a desire to laugh.  I think it's probably hereditary, my mother having the ability to seemingly turn a crisis, not into a drama, but a comedy. We have a tendency to laugh in inappropriate places - like the dentists and hospitals - and at ourselves or others at inappropriate moments. She particularly likes a good 'come-uppance' or a bit of just desserts.

She would, I know, have been highly amused, as was I, at today's happening.

Whilst I was out teaching one of my students this morning, FR went on a log hunt for our wood-burning stove. I arrived home an hour later to a ringing phone. Oh how I laughed as I answered and listened to the half-defiant, half-pleading voice on the other end!

For it turns out that FR had taken off his jacket in the heat of the morning sunshine, popped the jacket on the front seat of the car and pushed the door closed. At which point, the naughty car locked itself, with the keys inside!!

Wouldn't it have been funny if his telephone had also been in the jacket, but no, we can't have everything. He called me and asked me to locate the spare car key, which I did. Fortunately for him (and for me) he was not too far away and we both set off walking and met up halfway - and oh, how I laughed!! And laughed.

And he had the grace to laugh too...he can and he does and I love that so much.

It's so good to laugh - just think how much more opportunity we have to laugh if we can laugh at ourselves!

19 comments:

  1. I must admit I read your lost key story & imagined the reaction I'd have been in for if I'd done it - disapproval in the highest degree! Thankfully Mr N proves himself an forgetful ninny far more often than I do, so I can remain tolerant AND smug. My ex had a habit of wagging his finger in my face - until one day I bit it!

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    1. Oh Nilly - your wonderful reaction to finger wagging has set me off giggling in front of the computer. What else could you do? Perfect!! Thank you. Axxxxx

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  2. Brilliant. Don't you just love it when that happens! I don't know if it's a cultural thing but men here always think they are right and don't make mistakes, so when they do it really makes me laugh!

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    1. Got it in one, Ayak! Mine is quite honest when he does make a mistake but then he forgets he made it. He remembers all mine! I shall remind him of this one. Axxx

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  3. Wonderful and so very true!

    Do you think most men/partners/husbands come out of the same mold?

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    1. Dear Gaynor,

      Well, I'm sure there are many that are NOT like this. I sometimes feel as a mother of sons it is my responsibility to mould them. But this morning, whilst FR and I were joking about in the kitchen, he looked at us and told us we were like children...they say the child is father of the man. Now where does that leave us, I wonder?

      Axxx

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  4. Memories of elephants when it comes to the misdtakes of others....memories like gnats' piss when it comes to their own...

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    1. Glad so many of you seem to recognise exactly what I am saying!! Makes me feel so much better. Axxx

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  5. I shall never complain again about my husband being grumpy (okay, I probably will) because I can honestly say that he wouldn't have thought to attach any blame had I locked myself out - I'm not sure I'd have been as generous if the roles were reversed - and he would have thoroughly enjoyed any story of how we got back in. Had he then locked himself out of his car however laughter, on his part, would have been in short supply, where I'd probably have been helplessly chortling ... I guess it takes all sorts to make a world!

    And hurrah for Ruy!

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    1. My husband can be a grump about some things but utterly charming and generous about others. As you say, it takes all sorts. He's often too cross about what's going on in the wider world to stop and enjoy the fun that's going on under his nose. And yet, he can be wholeheartedly great fun too. We'd only change him a bit.
      Axxx

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  6. My dears - I think you are all going a bit loopy. Husbands don't make mistakes, we make them make them.

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    1. Time to visit Turkey, I think. We'll come en masse and get things sorted out. Axxx

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    1. Careful now, you make it sound like I had engineered the mishap - no, no, it was all his own doing! Axxx

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  8. FR is fascinating Annie, and it is lovely to read about your slightly roller coastery life with him.....I dont mean that to sound as if there are lots of downs as well as ups...but more like, no matter how bumpy the ride, each trip leaves you with a big grin...despite the difficult bits !
    Mark, as you may remember, is Mr Integrity, Mr in touch with his emotions as well as having moral values based on the best of all possible religions, creeds, political systems etc etc. He never judges or criticises, recognising, particularly with me, that I am quite capable of knowing when I've screwed up...telling me I have wont make anything better. He inputs to resolve...and if inputting doesn't help towards resolution, he stays quiet. His whole purpose seems to be to support to improve where he can.....and he usually can. He should have worked for the UN. The world would be a safer place today.
    What a good job for me that wife number 1 couldn't cope with such perfection.

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    1. Mark and FR are utterly different. Completely - the man you describe is Mark to a tee and you are a very special couple.

      My ex was artistic, creative, slightly off-centre and not always predictable - though the similarities between him and FR end there - and my mum's friend said that he and I 'deserved each other'..... This can, of course, be taken in a number of ways. But I'm happy to think that FR and I deserve each other too. And happy to think that you and Mark deserve each other for the same reasons. FR is what I need and I do thrive on the 'slightly roller coastery life' as you so beautifully put it. Takes all sorts, doesn't it? Axxx

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  9. I really don't blame you for extracting the maximum amount of amusement from this neat reversal of roles, Annie. :-) My DH is rather like Janice's Mark, much more likely to advise than to criticise and someone who very rarely loses his temper (much more rarely than I do!). Mind you, he wouldn't be able to say a word about my locking myself out as he's done it too - both with the house and with the car. :-) Luckily we're both very good at laughing at ourselves - one of the reasons, i think, that we're still so happily married after nearly 45 years.

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    1. It did have excellent comic timing, Perpetua. I wonder sometimes whether FR will 'soften' over the years but he's not showing much sign of it yet! I'll give him 45 years though and see what I think then. At least we laugh! And he's equally as generous with his praise as he is with his criticism so there's some consistency there. Axxx

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