Casa Rosales

Casa Rosales

Thursday 8 August 2013

Humerus mistakes



Language is such a wonderful thing. And I love it when it comes out a bit wrong and a new word is made, a new image created or an unintended moment of hilarity enjoyed.

I bought Mateo a t-shirt like this -




 and I laugh every time I see it!

I remember a family dinner - must be about twelve years ago because it was summer and I was heavily pregnant with Ruy - he'll be twelve in a month's time. We ate outside with my parents and my sister and her family at our little terraced house.  Knowing my mother spoke a little Spanish and having the habit of speaking it to my sister - who doesn't - after the plates had been cleaned the first time, FR asked 'Quieres mas?' - to which my mother with some enthusiasm answered 'Oh yes, please!'  Judy's face was a picture of shock and horror for a moment before she started laughing. She had no idea what FR had said but presumed it wasn't what she'd heard - which was Kiss my ass? - and my mum had meant something completely different with her Yes please! No need to explain our sometime unusual offer of seconds!

Last night, we had a lovely evening with friends and we drank rather more than either FR or I are used to. Sam is English and Dave is from Glasgow originally and we'd been talking about making mistakes in Spanish - and we've all made some howlers! Around midnight, we saw a headlamp (and I mean a lamp on a headband) at the gate and recognised it as Sergio with his dogs and a nephew in tow, so FR jumped up and went to greet him, shouting in English - 'Would you like a drink?' A chorus followed him from the table in the garden that he was speaking in English...whereupon FR switched to Spanish but didn't quite get it right. 'Quieres un vaso' is what he meant to ask...and remember in Spanish, the 'v' is pronounced exactly like 'b'...and this means 'do you want a glass (of something)'.

However, this is not quite what he said. He asked Sergio if he'd like a 'beso' - which is a kiss! And Sergio, without missing a beat, wiped the back of both his hands across his mouth in an exaggerated gesture of preparation - for a kiss. Beautiful timing! We did laugh.

And then, later on, just before going to bed, I read a comment left by Janice (in Caunes or is she now somewhere else?) in which she'd made a simple typing error. But it was one that had me pondering for ages! Remember I had been drinking Cava and Oporto -  rather than my usual cup of tea - before coming to this - and I quote:

The beetles, cigales, and toads have visited us in their hoards this year. We think it might be the same toad who keeps coming back to join us at dinner under the pergola....perhaps we should drop a bit of paintonto him to see if it really is him making return visits, after we carefully take him back to the far end of the garden.

It was the word 'paintonto' that confused me. I read it as some special sort of bread used for marking toads. Not so daft on my part as I know 'pain' is French for bread - and Janice is in France...and 'tonto' is a Spanish word for 'silly or daft' but could also be French or Italian... OK, silly pain, I am! It may be quite obvious to everyone else that there is a space missing between 'paint' and 'onto'.


Oh dear, and now it's got me started - thinking about other little mistakes and how a letter here or there can make all the difference. Possibly my very favourite one is absolutely true and a mistake that I made myself in a letter to all 191 Primary School secretaries back in the 1990s. We had just been putting computers into schools for administrative purposes and in those days, we had to send updates out on a floppy 'disk or disc' in an envelope though the snail mail. I remember typing a little note to go out with these things but being momentarily undecided whether to type 'disk' or 'disc'. I obviously couldn't properly decide but my unconscious 'solution' was quite outrageous... the letter eventually went out included the following line:

"Please find enclosed a 3" floppy dick with full instructions for use..."

I should have recorded some of the responses for posterity...especially as some of the secretaries at this time were the blue-rinse dragons of days gone by!

Any good howlers to share??


24 comments:

  1. Haha! Very funny post. I'm sure I could think of some Annie, but can't bring them to mind just now. Your husband talking to Sergio in English made me smile though, because my husband and I always communicate in English, and sometimes he forgets and starts talking in English to another Turk and I have to stop him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sure you will have lots, Ayak. Living with a foreigner (and that's both you and Mr A!) always leads to moments of misunderstandings and comical turns of phrase. A lot of the time, we get used to each other's mistakes and don't notice them, but just occasionally, there are some classics. FR for some reason always says someone is 'as cool as a banana' not a cucumber...I never 'correct' him - for all I know, that is the Spanish version...Axxx

      Delete
    2. Oh yes...we have feet fingers for toes. And if he is going somewhere to have a look around the area, he says he is "rounding". And the other thing is that although he speaks very good English he cannot write it very well, so our text messages are weird and probably wouldn't be understood by anyone else. They are a kind of Turkish phonetic version of an English word. Eg. When I was having problems with toothache, he texted me to ask "how are your teeth?" Because there is no "th" sound and "I" is used for the sound "ee"...he asked me how are your "tits"? :-)

      Delete
  2. Wonderfully fun, Annie.
    I once worked in the commercial insurance industry and issued a certificate of insurance for $1,000,000 in garbage keepers liability (is should have said GARAGE instead of garbage). The funny thing is, no one noticed it until renewal the following year.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed it, Penny. Some things are hard to spot....we could sneak alsorts of things in right under people's noses! (I was checking those -000s and didn't worry about the garbage!)
      Axxx

      Delete
  3. I like it! Now i'm thinking...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel sure you'll have a few, Gaynor. Teachers always do!
      Axxx

      Delete
  4. I have to be careful when typing in Turkish as a simple "I'm bored" becomes something very rude in Turkish if the English "i" is used instead on the dot-less " ı"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're supposed to tell us WHAT it is, Annie! Now we're all wondering...and - have you ever done it and with what consequences!
      Axxx

      Delete
    2. It's a meeting of the Annie's ... and this one know's ;)

      Delete
    3. Ha, ha...well, that's OK then! Axxx

      Delete
  5. Soooooo funny!

    I'm married to a chap of Polish parentage who although born in the UK only really spoke Polish until he was 6. Although, were you to meet him, you'd think him nothing other than an articulate Englishman, talk to him about his early childhood, when his English was almost non-existent, and you'll find he says the oddest things before he corrects himself. Apparently his infant school served crustard at lunch. Although given the average school dinner in the 60s that might be a fair description!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I find words and the things we say hilarious. And what you say about your husband bears a resemblance to a girl I used to work with. Her mother was Ukrainian and her father Italian - with little English between them - and most of the time, Dora sounded like any other Yorkshire lass...until she got emotional or upset...and then she came out with a bizarre, unformed set of jumbled words and phrases. I found this absolutely fascinating. (I wasn't unsympathetic to her various plights, you understand, but I did enjoy them for the side effects!)
      Thanks for sharing.
      Axxx

      Delete
  6. This is a different sort of howler.

    I had a keen knitter as friend when a student...she had no neeed of patterns, could make anything...and she saw some Chinese characters on a restaurant sign which appealed to her, so she knitted them across the chest of a sweater she was making.

    We all thought it looked good and she wore it frequently until a fellow student from China informed her that it meant
    'cheap and delicious'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent story!
      I am just curious now as to why you are Fly?
      Axx

      Delete
    2. From an earlier blog, French Leave where the alias was 'the fly in the web'...which was just what I felt about being in Frsnce. Sometimes I can't comment under my own nsme...the system refuses it and comes up with the old Blogger information.

      Delete
    3. I do remember Fly with great fondness, before I knew Fly had a real name, so I was rather pleased to see I'd attracted it again...would have been perfect on the previous 'spider' post, wouldn't it!! Axxx

      Delete
  7. Two favourite errors in our local paper:
    A nearby beauty spot is popular with "mature lovers" (should have been nature lovers but WE do sometimes visit)
    And a local antique shop offered a large selection of "oik paintings" (suits us - we''re common as muck up North.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good ones, Nilly - particularly struck by the mature lovers...I rather like that one too! For some reason, it makes me think about my honeymoon...or is that tmi?
      Axxx

      Delete
  8. I always think of the gorgeous German woman that FR worked with, that I knew, who lived in Dewsbury. Her English was wonderful, but she always said she had only ever met one other person who understood what it was like for her not to speak in her first language. I can visualise her strained expression as she tried to work out the likely meaning of yet another new colloquialism. She spent so much time, endeavouring not to make errors that others would find comical, which is such a shame in a way, because some of them, as your some of your followers have shown are so amusing. I guess some people have trouble thinking they are being laughed at, when in an ideal world they would feel they were being laughed with. I know I make hundreds of "mistakes" with my French, but laughing with our neighbours about little misunderstandings is all part of the fun.
    Lots of love Jxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely, Janice! Fortunately, I am able to tell my Spanish friends that I don't really care if I make a mistake but that they are welcome to tell me if I do - the most important thing is that they understand me. And they do - understand me, that is. They rarely tell me my mistakes - though my children do!
      I do appreciate English so much - its flexibility and directness particularly. We may often find ways to avoid calling a spade a spade but actually, when we need to - we can. I found it very interesting the other day when I realised there was no direct translation for the verb 'to check' in Spanish...nor to 'lock' the door. Although I am finding that I occasionally use a Spanish word in and English sentence because it's 'easier'. I shall 'check' which ones I use...
      I miss not being able to remember anything in French - I'd reached a nice level of fluency in days gone by - we must have a little practice together when you come!
      Axxx

      Delete
  9. This post was such fun, Annie. DH has just come downstairs to ask why I was hooting with laughter, so I showed him your typo in the letter to all those primary schools. :-)) I know I must have made lots of similar howlers over the years, but I'm blowed if I can think of one off the top of my head. I may be back.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Perpetua - I'm delighted to have made you hoot!! I don't think I shall ever, ever forget that mistake but I much prefer owning up to it in writing, rather than explaining it in person...
      Church magazines always seem to show up some brilliant examples of dreadful, almost unbelievable howlers but I do suspect that a good many of them are absolutely genuine. It's very easy to do...Go on, give your brains a racking!
      Axxx

      Delete

I welcome your comments - it makes blogging even more fun to know someone is reading!