Happy Birthday Mum!

On 1st April, it was my mum's 80th birthday! Although I couldn't get to celebrate with her on the day, we had previously arranged to have a little party at my sister's house the following week, so on the Friday afternoon, I jumped into my little blue car and drove down to Malaga to catch a plane to the UK.

After an uneventful and relatively peaceful flight, I arrived in Manchester where my sister was waiting for me.  We spent Saturday shopping and cooking and generally chatting away as usual and the sun shone down. It was lovely and everything went to plan.

The party was relatively small but consisted of family and close friends. It was a shame that all my family couldn't come with me but it was logistically and financially impossible to travel en masse so close to Easter. However, one of my gifts to my mum was a large framed photo of my three - Mum's request - and she was very happy with it.

I also did a painting for her. One of my Zentangles which carries a 'hidden' message....look carefully and you might just see that the design is based on the number '80 80 80'.

I had the picture framed with a nice dark passepartout and a mid-oak frame which looks perfect in Mum's room

It was very good to see old friends - many of whom are now genuinely old....but who look great. I also think my mum looks pretty good for 80!! Here are a few photos from the day...I should really have taken more, especially as my sister's garden was looking so very beautiful but I completely forgot!

A view of the delightful garden - perfect place for a party

Setting out the tables and chairs...

Tuck in... plenty of delicious food for all tastes.

And an Easter themed birthday cake...the chicken is co-incidental! It was a gift from a friend to my sister but to put it on the top was irresistible. We decided against candles...fire risk!

Well done Mum - a brilliant 80!!

Here's to continuing health and happiness. Axxx

Starting Over....in 2017

It seems so long since I posted that this really does feel like starting over! I have been working many more hours a week since the summer and now, a few months on, I am getting into it and coping better. It has taken a while with some of the classes in the Academy but I am much more relaxed now about teaching in my own style and enjoying the interaction with the students there. And the people at the company continue to be engaged, fun and a pleasure to teach. So as far as the teaching and the working goes, life is really good.

It felt as though we all had to work right up to Christmas. School and academies didn't finish officially until 23 December and many students had exams in the final week. I missed the celebratory Christmas lunches that I used to have with colleagues and friends when I lived in the UK - more so this year, I think, because I was working more - but in our town, Christmas is still pretty low-key as it is one of the more intensive periods of work. It's olive picking season. The hills and countryside ring with machinery and tractors and the roads are positively busy with landrovers full of workers ready to gather the fruit. They've been lucky with the weather this year - it's been clear blue skies (and very cold nights) since mid-December. It's hard not to get caught up in the hype of buying and spending at this time of year but easier when it's not being pushed at you from all sides. We were aware that Christmas was coming - the lights and trees in the town blazed from 6th December - but it has been comparatively subdued. I'm sure I've commented on this before and I'm glad we haven't had the Christmas 'musak' in the shops, the constant bombardment with advertising, the pressure the buy, buy, buy ....but I still miss Christmas carols and pre-Christmas parties...

My boys have reached an age where, when asked what they would like for Christmas, they say just one thing and don't have long expensive lists (phew!) ...Romy hasn't quite got there yet (but she will!) As a result, we had a quiet Christmas at home with a few presents round the tree on Christmas morning, a delicious lunch and then our usual routine of Christmas games and fun that are particularly English. I enjoyed it very much. I think we all did.

Back in August, I rashly booked a trip to England for Ruy, Romy and myself in late December until 6th January. I say 'rashly' because I didn't check with anyone before I booked, including Ruy and Romy! The prices were good and I had this sudden thought that they would like to visit London - for the first time - and Christmas was always especially exciting, with the lights and the special events. I planned for us to go to Manchester and visit family first, then head to Huddersfield to catch up with old friends before a couple of days in the capital. When I told them, they were less than enthusiastic...or at least not as enthusiastic as I'd hoped they would be. Fortunately as, time went on, they warmed to the idea. I seriously failed to take into account that my sister always goes skiing at this time of year and we had nowhere to stay. And in the intervening months. my father has been so ill that we began to fear we might have an unplanned visit before Christmas but I am glad to say that he has had a good recovery and was looking quite well when we saw him at New Year. He really is incredible!!
However, our backup plan to stay with my parents - a bit of a squash but manageable - caused my mum some stress as dad is often awake during the night and she was worried that as well as keeping her awake, he would keep us awake. So we booked into a hotel near Knutsford for that part of our visit - and which Mum generously paid for.
In addition, I began to have serious qualms about the potential for bad weather. It would not be unusual to find freezing fog, rain, driving wind and even snow between Knutsford and Huddersfield during the winter month, now would it! I'd booked a car for the northern part of our trip and did spent a lot of time checking the weather forecasts as our journey approached - all looked like it might be OK but I know how changeable it can be.






In the end, the weather, travel and fun gods smiled down on us and we had a wonderful time. It was 18 months since the children saw their grandparents and we were lucky that dad was well enough for us to all go out for lunch one day and to have an afternoon playing dominoes together - Romy was the winner.


























Our time in Huddersfield was spent at my friend Marion's house, who was the absolutely perfect host and where we felt utterly at home. We also had a delightful afternoon with Karen and Philip, friends of mine since we were at University, where my children were introduced to dumplings and frog-flipping.

Then Ruy spent a day with old school friends, which he enjoyed, whilst Romy and I went shopping and where I discovered that at almost 13, Romy is a professional at selecting which clothes are 'her' and which are not.

The weather was more than lovely, it was spectacular and I so enjoyed a long walk with Marion one afternoon, taking in green fields, damp verges, crisp blue skies and woolly white sheep in the fields. Super bracing and definitely appetite-building. And we did eat a lot! It was so tempting to eat everything that was 'not Spanish' for a change. We had curry, home-made pizzas, moussaka, Greggs pasties (!), mince pies, apple pie, thick fresh cream, filo pastries, meat and potato pie, turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce sandwiches, cappuccino coffee and gingerbread biscuits.....oh, I could go on ... but I won't! Marion had a party whilst we were there, where there was more game playing and lots of eating and catching up with old friends.
And then it was time to leave.



After taking the car back to the rental village at Manchester airport, I think the children were almost ready to go home. We felt to have been away quite a long time but we still had London to do! We caught the train and arrived just before it got dark. Our hotel was outside London, near Wandsworth (long story why) so we took the upstairs seats of a double decker and took the scenic route via Trafalgar Square, past Downing Street, the Houses of Parliament, Big Ben, Westminster Abbey...over the Thames and with views of the London Eye - all lit up and beautiful by 4.30! Having lived in London in my early twenties, I love seeing how much I remember and how much has changed. It did look particularly lovely when we arrived and we saw some ice-skating rinks which we decided would be a good thing to try out the next day.













And the next day, after a good night's sleep and a hearty breakfast, we set off the the Natural History and Science Museums - where there just happened to be one of the above-mentioned ice-rinks. We bought tickets for an afternoon twirl.





And then we went to explore the museums. I adore these buildings so much and the weather was again unbelievably beautiful and showing London off at its best. We spent the morning in the Science Museum, then went round to the Natural History Museum, where we met my cousin from Australia, Dee-Anne. She mentioned on Facebook that she would be visiting London at the same time as we were there so what a great opportunity to catch up?




Which we did over lunch ...and whilst Ruy and Romy were trying out their skating legs. (You didn't think I went skating as well, did you?) We held the coats and shouted encouragement, whilst carrying on our own conversation and soaking up the beautiful surroundings. Sneakily, I would have loved to have skated but was really worried that I might fall and break something important which would create serious knock-on problems for our return home....

And try as I might, I couldn't persuade the children to leave the museums so when they closed, they were happy to make the journey back to the hotel, stopping to buy some sandwiches to eat in the room. I intended that we went out again later but they were exhausted - we'd walked a lot and skating is quite tiring - so after laughing a lot at Romy, we eventually fell asleep quite early. And the next day we had to make our way to the airport at Gatwick. We had time to go to Buckingham Palace and ALMOST see the changing of the guard. My goodness, what a lot of people there were - probably the sunshine that brought everyone out on the streets.

(There were so many people that it crossed my mind that the Queen's cold had got the better of her, but apparently not and the crowds were quite normal.)













And then, we were on the train to Gatwick and home! I'd had another slight panic back in October when it sounded as though Monach Airlines were about to collapse....they were, of course, the airline we would travel back with. But again, we were spared any problems and I would like to congratulate our pilot on the smoothest landing I have ever experienced - like a feather brushing the earth, it was.

FR and Mateo were just arriving as we emerged from the airport - they'd been on the beach at Malaga when I called to say we'd landed (15 minutes early) and they had to scrabble into the car and make the 10 minute journey to find us, so our joint timing was perfect for a quick pick-up. It was lovely to see them again after what felt like a very long time. It was nice too to feel energised by the trip because, contrary to my many fears (foul weather, my dad's health, staying in so many different places) and worries (responsibility for passports, tickets and belongings always weighs heavily on me when I'm with the children), the holiday had exceeded my expectations; we'd had wonderful weather, done everything we'd wanted, negotiated roads, rail and air travel and returned safely without a single problem*, a great deal of good temper and a sense of achievement. I really feel as though my 2017 had got off to a very good start indeed. I won't start on the state of the world at this point, but having such a good personal beginning is giving me the strength to face what might be to come....

*There was just one hiccup to all my plans. I lost tally of the days and dates and as a result, failed to meet up with Kath and Jenny as I had planned. I would also have LOVED to have seen Janice but I didn't make plans to do this, focusing this time on doing what the children wanted to do and knowing that she and Mark have had a busy and exciting time with family themselves.

And, if you've stayed with me to this point - thank you. If I saw you in England, it was a pleasure - it's always lovely to bump into people in the street that I know. It often gives them a bit of a surprise but the years roll away immediately - at least they do for me.

Here are a few more photos - all from our trip.
Happy New Year to everyone and I sincerely hope we can pull together to make it a good one, somewhere and somehow.

Romy looking very proficient

And Ruy too!

Possibly my favourite photo...

Waiting for a turn in the 360degree flying pod at the Science Museum

Outside the Natural History Museum

With Dee-Anne ...still at the Museums!

Palm trees, blue skies....in Wandsworth! (HONEST)

About time

As in, about time I wrote a blog post. Although it could also be about 'time'. I don't really know yet. I haven't given much thought to what I'm going to write. I just know it's about time I did or else I might never write again.

January did seem to pass in a flash. We'd had a lovely Christmas all together and the new year started off rather nicely. FR and I went down to Malaga to a concert, followed by a meal with friends - one of whom is the principal trumpet player in the orchestra. He and his wife are originally friends of FR from many, many years ago but they were incredibly kind and helpful to us both when we first came to live in Malaga around 19 years ago. It has been excellent to rekindle the friendship, especially now I can understand all the conversation! It makes me realise how little I could speak Spanish when we first met. My attempts are still not always fluent and clear - there's always so much more to learn - but at least I can follow and take part in a conversation without too much trouble.

As we approached the end of January, it became clear that my father-in-law's health was failing seriously. He was admitted to hospital during the last week of the month and we felt that he wouldn't be sent home again. I was very anxious that Romy was going to be able to enjoy her birthday, which was on the Wednesday, and her party, on the following Saturday. Wednesday came and went with only good things, including a mobile phone for my 12 year old. Very happy, she was. And on Saturday, she had invited around half her class to our house for a 'playing out' party. I had prepared a map and a set of clues for them to explore our little village. They were to do this in two teams, setting off in opposite directions. I didn't make a treasure hunt, but they had to take photographs in strategic places to prove they'd done the course. Then they could select the best photos to claim a prize. The theme was very much photographs, seeing as Romy had a great camera on her new phone. She was so happy to be with her friends that she never took her phone with her! We have no photos....


Not until they returned when I snapped a few during the present-giving ceremony, which took part on the trampoline.

I know Romy was a bit nervous about all her friends seeing where she lived - she's one of only a handful that doesn't live in town - but she didn't need to have been. They all had an absolute ball and I heard them saying how lucky she was. All good stuff....










The bonfire also went down really well and can you believe it, only two of the whole group of them had ever toasted marshmallows over a fire before! Another hit.









In the end, it was voted the best party 'ever' and Romy was completely and utterly delighted.















Unfortunately, I had to tell her that her beloved grandfather had died during her lovely party. Just before her guests were due to arrive, FR had a call from his brother saying that things had taken a turn for the worse. He originally thought we should arrange to go all together the next day, but I didn't think that would be soon enough. He set off alone at around 4pm in the hope of arriving in time. It didn't happen, though. I had a sudden urge to call my sister-in-law at about 6pm and she had just had the call from Amelia to say that Cesar Snr had just died. It was dreadful bad luck for the brothers - one had just left the hospital to collect his youngest brother from the airport and, of course, FR was still on the road - but my father-in-law chose to die with just his wife of more than 50 years with him. He didn't really like a fuss. I think it was what he wanted.

I had to call FR later in his journey to tell him - and to say to go to the tanatorio as his father was no longer at the hospital. It was very difficult. What was also difficult was the fact that the funeral would be at 12 on Monday morning. I discovered that funerals take place very quickly in Spain - within 24 - 48 hours is both custom and law but it meant that I had a rather frantic evening trying to arrange transport to get us there as there was no chance that FR could come back and get us. I have to thank neighbours for their help. One took me to collect a car from Granada airport, which was the nearest I was able to find a hire car at such short notice and Sergio was his usual heroic self, reassuring me that he'd take care of Pippin and the hens for as long as we were away.

Princess Meesha

We decided to take Meesha with us as she's not exactly experienced in looking after herself - being the princess of the house - and we know she's a good traveller.
















I think it was this next period that was most difficult and sort indicated a rather complicated period in our lives. I had been quietly congratulating myself on managing to keep things together - the party, telling FR and the children, sorting things out at such short notice and arriving exactly on time at Madrid airport, where we left the hire car and waited for FR to arrive to collect us.

He was a tad late as there was a big traffic jam just outside Madrid. He mentioned on the phone that there was a red light showing on the dashboard and he was a bit concerned about the car. He was right to be. As he arrived, the radiator burst and it was clear that we had a fairly serious problem. We had to wait for the tow-vehicle to come and take it away and for the insurance company to sort out a hire car for us. Which they did and eventually we set off in the second hire vehicle of the day.

I am not going to say too much about the funeral. Only that it went well, was extremely emotional and raw and a lot of people attended. I will say that I think it's a bad idea to have a funeral so quickly. Emotions were high, FR's mother hadn't been home all week and had not had time to eat a proper meal for days. It was very hard on her. The whole of Sunday, a stream of visitors had gone to the tanatario - family and friends, all very upset - and Amelia was there the whole day. It has to have been the most exhausting thing at a time when she was still unable to take in what had happened.

I spoke to my classes about this afterwards and said how shocked I was that everything had to happen so quickly. It is obviously part of the culture though, because most people were equally shocked to hear that we waited 'so long' in the UK before we put our dead to rest. It seemed unthinkable to them. A lot of heads were shaken at the idea, so I guess it is what you are used to.

We left the following day in yet another hired car, as ours had been taken back to Alcala to our usual mechanic as there was no one local who could have fixed it quickly. And then the very next day, I was struck down by a lurgy. I am not saying it was the 'flu, but it was very nearly. I was in bed for three days and it took me another two weeks to feel remotely back to normal. And it left me feeling very depressed and down. I guess part of the reason that I left blogging well alone. I have read very little and written even less in the past few months. I read and like my Facebook friends' posts and occasionally, have commented from time to time. But, so sorry, I haven't read more than a couple of blogposts by anyone this year.

And then in the middle of March, I had a turn around and began to feel better. I had booked a visit to England very early on in January to coincide with a concert that my mum and her choir were giving. I can't resist Mozart's Requiem and my mum is always telling me how well her choir sings. So, a couple of weeks ago, I set off on my little adventure. I do love travelling and, is this a confession, even better when I'm alone! I flew to Birmingham and hired a cute little Fiat 500 for my planned route to Knutsford, Huddersfield and Oxford. After the huge length of our Volvo, I love getting into a small car and always enjoy driving - though the crowded M6 was perhaps not quite as much fun as the Spanish motorways that I am used to.

You'll just have to believe me that it was wonderful!

I packed a lot into my few days and am delighted to report that the concert was an outstanding success. Knutsford is not a big town but goodness me, they have a superb choir and orchestra. I was extremely impressed. Definitely worth the journey alone, but I also managed to see friends in Huddersfield, visit a wonderful street market in Northwich, spend time with my family, including a delicious Sunday lunch and also visit my friend in Oxford again too.










I am just sorry that I couldn't coincide with Janice!

That would have been the icing on the cake...although that's the wrong metaphor as I was able to watch my clever cake friend actually putting icing on a cake on Sunday!

(Not actually this one, which had already been iced. Can you believe it, these flowers are sugarpaste?)


One day, we will manage to be in the same place at the same time, Janice! And failing that - we'll just have to arrange something specially for the two of us.


And back home, we had a weekend of snow and a few miserable dank days but today is glorious again. Mateo has gone to Valladolid for the week of Semana Santa to stay with his grandmother and spend some time with his cousin too. He had a very fraught journey there by bus but by the time he arrived, I'm happy to say he had managed to take it in his stride and turn it into part of the adventure. He's hoping to visit England when he finishes school in June and I have to admit to being rather nervous about his plans but at the same time, delighted that he's ready to spread his wings.

Today, FR has gone with Romy and Ruy to the Sierra Nevada, where he reports that there is lots of snow right now. I am taking the day to myself and as I was wandering around and inspecting the garden - for the first time this year - I was suddenly inspired to write a post.


My darling father-in-law is gone but will never be forgotten. My poor mother-in-law is still struggling with her loss on a daily basis but we are here when she is ready to move on herself.

New shoots are appearing on our trees and the sky is blue.











That I think and care about all the mess that there is in the world must go without saying today. Sometimes it is just too hard to understand. And sometimes the frustration I feel when I see what is going on around us is overwhelming.

But today, I feel positive and cheerful and happy.

About time.
Thanks for reading.

There and back again

Well, we're back. Back from a lovely week in England with family and friends.
I'd booked the flights in February and it wasn't until just before we were due to leave and I printed out our boarding passes that I realised we had eight days, not just a week, of holiday.  It felt fantastic!

The last time I took the children to England it was Christmas;  the weather was cold and wet; the days were short and it was dark by 4pm. This year, we were treated to eight long, glorious and sunny days; the sun didn't set until 10pm and rose again by 5am. We revelled in the rich greenery of the Cheshire and West Yorkshire countrysides. We had one short sharp thunderstorm soon after we arrived in Huddersfield which was noisy and quite spectacular and very welcome.

My sister has moved house and is now in a  beautiful old farmhouse with acres of land.. I have, in the distant past, posted about the many tractors around here, including very beautiful Lamborghini ones...and since visiting my sister, I have tractor envy. She has her own little tractor to cut the grass and of course, we had to have a go!

Here's Romy receiving instruction....

We were treated to wonderful home-cooked meals and the children and I slept in the old, almost but not quite, converted barn, all together in the same space. I fell asleep every night to the sound of laughter and silly stories and games of  'I went to market' (a memory game where each player adds something else to the list of purchases...) and just general messing around. 

We visited my parents and found them not too badly organised. Dad has just got a hoist and a new bed which helps Mum and the carer to get him in and out of bed and in and out of his chair. He looks well under the circumstances but is always anxious to speed up the time between his daily routines - often, by 3pm, he's anxious for supper and bed. 

After a couple of days relaxing, enjoying the sunshine and my sister's garden, we hired a car to visit friends in Yorkshire - sadly missing Janice by a week or so as she had returned to France, more or less with Le Tour. Check out her blog for more lovely information about this! I had arranged to meet my dear friend Karen (of Southwold Famous Five fame) in Salt's Mill in Saltaire, one of my all time favourite haunts. I'd dropped Mateo off in Huddersfield to meet some of his friends so it was just Romy, Ruy and I who went. We arrived early and I positioned myself near the entrance so that I'd see Karen when she arrived. However, there were two entrances and she managed to sneak up on me - very sneakily she did it - and caught me by surprise. We'd sort of expected a slightly tearful and emotional meeting as it's more than four years since we've seen each other, but our outburst of hysteria was unexpected! We both burst into a mixture of laughing and crying and hugging which became a mascara- and nose-dripping spectacle with my children and Karen's husband, Philip, looking on in slightly embarrassed amusement. It was perfect!

We had a lovely lunch together and lots of catching up. It's twenty five years since Salt's Mill opened and the chap in the Diner is still there, welcoming the hoards and he remembered and chatted to us as if we'd only been there last week. 

And then Karen handed me a very precious little parcel. It was Mavis - our prize pig from the Treasure Hunt we did in Southwold (see earlier link!) - who, as we were there in 1984 as I remember, is now 35 years old! 

After this lovely afternoon, we went to stay with my friend Marion, over in Huddersfield. Like everyone else we stayed with, Marion had prepared us some wonderful food. I did wonder whether it was because we had unconsciously been missing 'English' food but I suspect it was more the special care that people made on our behalf and we are most grateful - certainly one very direct way to our hearts. We stayed overnight and so the next morning, I was able to drop Ruy off at a friend's house and call in to see another before going to the Yorkshire Sculpture Park with Marion, her son, Ali and another friend, Clare. This is the place we visited most often from our home in Huddersfield and at the time, is where FR did his undergraduate and postgraduate degrees so we got to know it very well indeed. Sadly, the University of Leeds has closed the campus based here now and all the buildings that were home to FR showed great signs of decay and neglect...we couldn't get to see some of the older and more beautiful buildings as the grounds were roped off for visitors. I didn't honestly pay too much attention to the surroundings as I was busy enjoying my time talking to my friends but I think the children were glad to be back. Mateo took some photos on his phone and they're not brilliant but do capture some of the amazing trees there and some of the unexpected features!. 

 With Marion, Clare, Ali and Romy

When we returned to my sister's, she took us on a stunning walk around Marbury Country Park with Twigg, Cocoa and Fizz. And we had a pub lunch at the side of the Trent and Mersey Canal, where the Anderton Boat Lift is now operational again. It all seemed very civilised and organised and pretty. And that's not to say Spain isn't these things but my three words are not the first that come to mind when living in Andalucia...(Photos to follow - they're on my sister's phone and she's now in Belgium.)

The rest of the week was made up of more visits to Mum and Dad, a quick trip to the chiropractor, a shopping day at Cheshire Oaks - more because one of the cars was in for a service there - but we did get a few items and overdosed on the outrageous amount of choice of things for sale. A once in a lifetime visit, I suspect! And Ruy got some great archery practice and he and Romy were invited to hit a few balls on the Golf Course Driving Range just next door - which they enjoyed very much!

And suddenly it was Thursday and time to come home again. It was wonderful to spend time with my sister and to see my parents and so special to spend time with precious friends too. But we were ready to come home again. I always tend to say 'home' for England, but my children don't. They had a great time - and Ruy in particular, had a brilliant day with his friends, including catching his first fish - but Alcala is their home and they were ready to return. And that was a good feeling too.

After a goodbye and utterly indulgent meat-and-potato pie meal at my parents'.....


...we pootled back to the airport and climbed aboard our plane home with some satisfaction. 

And at the other end, FR was waiting for us with a lovely picnic and the beach bag prepared for a late night dip in the Med! Don't ask me why I didn't take any photos of my two brave children swimming in the sea at 10.30 as I have no excuse, just as I have no excuse for not having a photo of Karen and I in our emotional meeting. But these things are firmly fixed in my mind's eye and you'll just have to believe me that they are wonderful!

So, we've been there and we've come back again. Not story of Hobbits or dragons but a journey, along the way of which we all made a few discoveries, found many things to make us feel grateful and felt the pleasure of returning home again. 

And that is no bad thing. 

Going Backwards...

I've been watching a BBC series via You Tube recently called 'Who do you think you are?' It had already started before we left the UK and I'd quite enjoyed seeing a 'celebrity' tracing their ancestry back - either a few generations or sometimes several. I was always quite surprised by how moved the people were to discover what had happened to their distant and quite unknown relatives. Many a tear falls in many shows and for many different reasons - and there have been a lot of episodes as it's been running for around 6 or even 7 series. I've lost count of the number of people who have all expressed a similar sense of having made a connection, of feeling more grounded, of being much more aware of a sense of family.

I know that Janice has done a lot of research into her family history and has uncovered a lot of amazing information, particularly about her bigamist (twice over, as I remember) grandfather. My sister has done some digging into our own family and a couple of years ago, we went through some old photographs that I hadn't seen before and tried to piece together a few odd bits of information that we had.

Our mother is an only child and her mother, my Granny, is also an only child. Sticking with this side of the family to start with, I have taken things a little further than Judy did. And discovered something quite interesting...

We had always been told that the family of my great-grandfather, William Gillbanks, who died in 1917 in the First World War (and who is buried in northern France) came from Kendal in Westmoreland. Kendal was the little town we would come to on our way to the Lake District when we were children. Now the motorway bypasses the town but I remember it with interest and have wondered why anyone would leave there to come to Bradford. In the first half of the 19th Century, a young William Gillbanks set up on his own in the family business of Rope and Twine making. He worked out of a shop on All Hallow's Lane, a street that is still central to Kendal. He married a girl whose surname was Bolton but whose first name I don't know. They had four daughters together, though one, Isabella, died after a long and painful illness at the age of six - and her mother not long after. In 1854, William then married his wife's sister - Mary Bolton. His two eldest daughters moved away from home and worked as milliners but Elizabeth, the youngest stayed on at home and showed up on the 1861 census. By this time, my great-great grandfather had been born - John Wilson - and when he was just eight years old, a dreadful thing took place in All Hallow's Lane.

I found reference to it on the FindmyPast website and although there's a free 14 day trial, I had to pay to access the newpaper cutting that held the vital information. It was worth it though!

Sir Henry was not impressed with
my great-great grandfather
for a number of reasons...

In all the local papers at this time, there was reference to the death of Mary, John Wilson's mother and William Gillbanks' second wife. (A wife, which although a marriage had taken place, was not reckoned to be a 'legal' one by Sir Henry Singer Keating, who merits a mention and a photo on Wikipedia no less and who presided over proceedings this day. Apparently one should not marry one's wife's sister....I suppose there's little difference between one's sister's husband and one's brother's wife when you stop to think about it.)

On the Saturday 20th February, 1863, Elizabeth, then 18 and step-daughter to Mary, stood accused of her manslaughter no less!


There's a very full account of the trial and what happened on the day in the Gillbanks household. Mary, according to her husband, had started drinking a couple of years after their marriage and for about 8 weeks prior to her death had rarely been sober. Obviously we don't hear Mary's side to this! Apparently, she often became violent, was known to the police and had attacked William a couple of times - permanently blinding him in one eye on one occasion! On the day in question, William and his son, John (who at 8 was also called to stand witness in the trial) had been out to buy some buns, (curiously called 'wigs' in Kendal at this time) and when they returned, both Mary and Elizabeth went to pick up the basket at the same time. A struggle ensued during which Mary threatened to hit Elizabeth with a watering can which she had in her hand. William took the can from his wife but then Mary picked up a heavy lead pipe and to Elizabeth, she threatened to 'split her skull' with it. She didn't but turned away and as she did so, Elizabeth picked up and threw a piece of earthenware pot at her - which cut her above and just behind her left ear - a cut not quite an inch in length. Still carrying the pipe, Mary went out of the house and to a neighbours where the wound was bathed. This all happened at about 12 o'clock. At 1.30, Mary returned to the neighbours, still bleeding, where further attempts were made to stop it. William came in and one of the neighbours told him he should fetch a doctor, which William refused to do. He also told the neighbour to mind her own business. Mary didn't ask for a doctor and appeared to make light of the wound. She returned home and went up to her bed.

By 6 o'clock, she had bled to death.

William's halting and unwilling attitude as a witness almost tipped things against Elizabeth and twice, the judge had to speak severely to him. He did not escape considerable criticism for not sending for a doctor and allowing his wife to reach her death without proper medical care. But in the end, Elizabeth was acquitted of the charge of manslaughter. She, her father and her two older sisters all continued to live together in the same house until William's death in 1872. After that I could find no further trace of the Gillbanks sisters, they disappear from all records. I know they never married because my Great Grandma always said that Granny inherited her 'prudish' nature from her husband's Great Aunts, who remained spinsters ....I guess my Great Grandma didn't know what they had been through.

And the effect of this knowledge on me? Well, it has been incredibly interesting and I have looked at All Hallow's Lane in Kendal on Google Maps where it appears perfectly respectable when the photos were taken. I have been very conscious of imagining the setting and the scene on the day of the crime and find myself very sympathetic towards Elizabeth - described as 'the prisoner' in the newspaper. I wonder if she had spent Christmas and New Year in prison as the incident happened on 22nd December, whilst the trial didn't happen for another two months. And I think I understand a little better now why John Wilson might have been moved to leave Kendal and make his way to Thornton in Bradford at the earliest possible opportunity.

All of that is another story though.

Having two hundred years of my family history set out in front of me hasn't made a huge difference to the way I think now but it is rather satisfying to know that I know it, if that makes sense. I suspect that if I were still living in England, I would be making a few visits to places I wouldn't otherwise visit, Kendal included, looking for a few more clues. What skeletons do you have in your cupboard, I wonder?

And so went 2012

This is a little glimpse of the end of 2012 for us. It was a jolly good ending, I have to say, if just a tad exhausting.

First, the arrival of my in-laws, who bring such joy and enthusiasm with them - and usually a little bit of chaos and unpredictability. Like their bed breaking in the middle of the night causing guffaws of laughter.

Then a gathering and eating with friends;

The chocolate game in full flow.

Mario tucking in whilst we await the next six.

Then a visit to a craft fair in Montefrio where I would have gone to sell chocolates if I hadn't sold out. There was a 'living' Belen - with exception of the camels, of course!

Not 100% convincing but rather sweet!

The goats and the chickens were quite authentic but I think the girl is on her mobile...

Comical camels watching on.

Noche Buena en familia - Christmas Eve is the main family meal in Spain, so when in Spain do as the Spanish!

Followed - at a very respectable hour - by a lovely relaxed Christmas Day ..

with everyone more than happy with their various and much appreciated gifts.













Then the children and I headed off for a brief spell in the UK on Boxing Day.
Flying out in beautiful sunshine and landing in Manchester to chilly damp and rather windy weather. But never mind - as Romy said, we didn't go for the weather.

Whilst we were away, FR and his parents took advantage of the weather we left behind.













And caught the first signs of the spring that will come.









I didn't take my camera to England...why? We were packed to the hilt and had not a spare place for it - however, I happened to have heard that Ruy was going to get a camera for Christmas, so all was not lost. Though I couldn't control his subject matter...

Mateo with his nose where it usually is.

Much tucking in - I am sure we spent more than half our time eating this Christmas

Oh, and watching 'The Hobbit' at the Printworks in Manchester - that took quite a while too but we did enjoy it.

We found time to go to Huddersfield to meet up with friends there and I was delighted - nay, emotional - to see Janice (not in Caunes today) looking absolutely stunning, notwithstanding her recent health problems. I hope 2013 brings her much good health and a return to all the things she loves doing. It was such a joy to spend a few hours with her, and my other friends who were able to join me and making my busy little trip so enjoyable. It was as if I'd never been away and just as I'd hoped. Thank you all!

Janice with Romy and I

Ruy took absolutely loads of photos and quite a number of videos, particularly on the evening we spent with Marion and Ali, after careful consideration, I decided none of them were what my blog needs. Unless of course you wanted to see screaming children sliding down the stairs or the stalking of cats or Romy playing on her new Nintendo... but I've decided probably not!

We had a very early start to get back to Spain and quite a few 'problems' before we successfully caught the plane but less said, soonest forgotten...

And last night, we enjoyed yet another delicious meal. I think I shall not eat much in 2013 to make up for the excesses of the end of 2012! I have really indulged this year - I foresee much dog walking in the weeks to come. But hey; I've missed the variety of food that's available and eaten in England. Spanish food is excellent but very.....Spanish. The miso soup was out of this world; and to eat Kalamata olives again was a joy; and turkey with stuffing and cranberry sauce..sigh...plus lightly cooked spring cabbage and my sister's roast potatoes..heaven; Mum's mince pies and Christmas cake - perfection. And what did we bring back? Marmite - huge jars of it! A jar of crystallised ginger. Ryvitas! Sun-dried tomatoes and Maldon Sea Salt. What is it you can't live without?

Dig in! Not sure what Ruy's expression is saying!

After our long day, I was a bit concerned I might fall asleep before we saw the New Year in, but our dinner lasted until almost midnight and by the time we'd prepared 7 plates with 12 grapes on each there was only a little while to wait for the bells to strike midnight in Madrid. One grape to be eaten for each strike of the bells. Small panic when FR's father dropped his on the floor - we managed to find them all in time!



We popped open a bottle of bubbly and after the children and their father and grandfather had been out throwing a few 'petardos' - or bangers - in the streets along with others doing pretty much the same, we felt we should get our heads down for a good long sleep.


And so begins 2013. Happy New Year. I hope all is going well with you and yours.