Anyone who has actually given birth - and those who have witnessed it at close quarters - can't fail to be amazed to compare the little squalling bundle that emerged then, with the latest version of now. In just over a week, my niece, the eldest of my only sister's children, will be twenty two. I remember driving over the Pennines to Macclesfield hospital to see her when she was just hours old. I remember being terribly nervous and excited and a little strange. My sister is younger than me and I'd spent my young adult life and then into my thirties saying I never wanted any children. How would I feel to see my little sister with a child of her own?
I needn't have worried - I was thrilled on her behalf but it didn't change a thing as far as I was concerned! And my niece was absolutely gorgeous. And still is, and is very nearly a qualified vet! And just under two years later, her brother was born and he will be twenty a day after my Romy is ten. And she's ten today!
When I met FR, early on in our relationship...OK probably about a week into it...I remember him standing in front of the huge stone fireplace in the flat I was renting and saying he wanted a family like Lupe, his father's friend, had. Eleven girls! Well, I remember thinking eleven sounded rather a lot but that I'd be happy to have as many of his children as I could, bearing in mind I was already almost 37 when we met...
(Turns out Lupe only had nine daughters, not eleven, and I met three of them once - they were stunningly beautiful and strong individuals. I can imagine the young FR being very overwhelmed in their presence! So much so that there seemed to more than there actually were!)
I was delighted to have Mateo and Ruy - but have to admit being deeply shocked and worried when I discovered, at 44, that I wasn't menopausal, but pregnant again. We went for a special scan at at 12 weeks where despite the nurse saying she shouldn't make any comments at all as it was only a scan, she was prepared to say 'this was a good 'un without doubt.' And a girl.
I remember we were overwhelmed as we drove back home. It still took me another eight months to come to terms with us having a third child. But goodness me! If ever a baby had every intention of making herself at home with a personality as strong on day one as it is at age ten, it was Romy.
She has turned into such a wonderful companion. We like just being together either chatting, reading or doing things. She's funny and interested and asks some great questions about life, the universe and everything - some of which I can answer and some which I can't. She wakes up happy most days, enjoys school and her after-school activities and can be counted on to do the things she should do. She says, in the nicest possible way, that she wants an organised house when she's old enough to have her own place - (unlike the disorganised one we live in.)
I am so glad she appeared so unexpectedly in our lives. So incredibly glad.
And here she is wearing the 'traditional' collar of sweets made by FR.
Happy Birthday, my darling Romy.
happy birthday Romy! My Finn (10 last October) was also a surprise and i spent a lot of my pregnancy in shock, but I totally understand when you say what a blessing this was. I know how much joy Finn brings and so how much Romy must bring to you. I hope you have the most wonderful day together. Karen x
ReplyDeleteBy the way certainly menopausal now!
It's nice to find someone who recognises that state of being pregnant and shocked! I know how much joy Finn brings to you too - we're lucky!
DeleteThank you - I am still not 100% sure about the latter issue....but don't think I'm pregnant!
Axxx
Happy birthday Romy. I always said I didn't want children, but was delighted when I finally gave in and had my son when I was 32. It was a difficult pregnancy and birth and I swore I wouldn't have anymore, but my daughter was an unplanned "accident" 20 months later. How pleased I was that the decision was taken out of my hands. Daughters are such a joy aren't they?
ReplyDeleteI was more than happy with my two boys, Ayak, and certainly wouldn't have deliberately tempted fate again! But yes, daughters are absolutely wonderful - we can say that, can't we - mothers were daughters once too!
DeleteAxxx
Happy birthday to Romy and to her Mum!
ReplyDeleteChildren are a delight and mine have brought me nothing but happiness and contentment. That's not to say that there haven't been challenges along the way, but it I wouldn't have missed the trip for the world.
A beautiful post, Annie x
Thank you Gaynor - I do admit to being there on her Birth day - and remember it as though it were yesterday!
DeleteWe're lucky to enjoy our children, challenges and all. I can't imagine not having had mine now, despite spending so long thinking I didn't want any!
Axxx
Happy Birthday to your daughter , a wonderful story and a very very happy one too,. I never thought about having children at all , and I had two sons, who I would not swap. (well I could of done in the middle of the night, when they started going clubbing) I had my first son at 18 years old and then the second at 26 ,,. and now I have 5 grandchildren, 2 boys and then followed three girls ,, I will never know how I would of got on with a daughter, so cannot comment really. I seem to have a personality clash with my granddaughters, well two of them , as the youngest is only one . time will tell.
ReplyDeleteThey sort of make their own way into the world, don't they? Glad you wouldn't swap them - though we haven't quite reached the middle of the night escapades yet in our house!
DeleteWe often clash with those who are most like us...I know I do with my eldest sometimes..and usually when he is doing the thing that I used to do, that drove my mum mad! I am hoping so much to stay healthy and live long enough to see grandchildren..that's the problem with starting late in life!
Axxx
I did not intend to have a child at 18 .. It is sort of catch twenty two,, Having them young gives you freedom later , but it is a hard one really ,, .xx
DeleteHappy birthday to your beautiful daughter - I am sure you must wonder how you could possibly have had a life without children in it now.
ReplyDeleteThank you Rosemary - there's hardly a day goes by that I don't feel incredibly grateful! Romy is a natural sweetie but tough with her brothers - they will grow up knowing that girls are not exactly the weaker sex!
DeleteAxxx
A lovely photograph of a happy girl..many happy returns to her.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you and she have such a good relationship.
Thank you Helen - I'll pass those wishes on. I hope so much that we maintain such a good relationship as daughter reaches puberty as mother reaches menopause....Axxx
Deletelovely to read Annie. Your daughter is beautiful and she looks so happy. I love the collar of sweets. How does FR make it? I would have loved a daughter- I do think the relationship between daughters and sons is different. "We like just being together" - how fantastic is that??
ReplyDeleteHi Rachel - thanks for stopping by! The collar is made by FR and is a tradition from his family. I adore my sons and I guess there's a special relationship with each one of our children in a different way...how's that for diplomatic?! Romy and I do like being together though and it really is fantastic! Fingers crossed it lasts...Axxx
DeleteLovely, lovely, lovely.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, to Romy, and her Mommy, too.
Thank you Natalie! Axxx
DeleteHappy birthday Romy - Such a nice story of how you ended up thrice blessed.
ReplyDeleteShe's now talking about being 11 next....:-) Axxx
DeleteMany happy returns of the day to Romy, a very beautiful girl. I'm so glad that you both share a special bond and enjoy each others company. There is something very special about having a daughter friend, confidant, companion and so much more. Rebecca and I have a wonderful relationship and seem to know just what we need without words. It goes without saying how much I love my son too but I remember being told a saying years ago a son is a son till he takes a wife but a daughter is a daughter for life. Enjoy your beautiful girl. xx
ReplyDeleteThank you Chrissie - I can only imagine how special your bond with Rebecca is now after having gone through recently...but yes, there is something very lovely to feel close to one's daughter. Sons are fantastic too, I hasten to add! I'm lucky to enjoy them all and the only thing I sometimes wish is that they enjoyed each other a little more....They do, but not always!
DeleteAxxx
Lovely story Annie and Romy is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteSuch a pretty name too.
S
Thank you Sophie. She's very much a Romy; there are very few of them about and she likes to feel a bit different! Axxx
DeleteI think "late babies" are an absolute treat in every way. And they keep you young. And you've done it all before so you take it all in your stride.
ReplyDeleteMind you when this year's birthdays for the older ones are 36, 39 and - eek - 43, you DON'T feel so young!
I think I have had three treats, Nilly - all pretty late! But you're right about keeping me young, I think (hope) and certainly by number three, it does feel considerably easier.
DeleteFancy having babies who are 43....not possible!
Axxx
A lovely post for your gorgeous daughter, Annie. This reaching double figures is a bit special. I've always been so glad I had one of each and you're right, the relationship with sons and daughters is different but equally special. Mine are now 45 and nearly 43 and even the grandsons are 14, 11 and 10!
ReplyDeleteThanks Perpetua - hope you're feeling much better now! I remember being excited about double figures myself once upon a time...
ReplyDeleteI do still hope that I'll be around for grandchildren....that would be really special too, no matter whether they're girls or boys! Axxx
I'm a wee bit late with my good wishes, but happy, happy birthday Romi :)
ReplyDeleteAnnie, even the youngest of my four is over 20 now, and if my maths is holding up I'm a year younger than you ... so I can imagine the shock of a late arrival but also the feeling of being blessed. You have a delightful family x
Romy's still waiting for a couple of cards to arrive from England, so she's quite OK with late birthday wishes - and thank you!
DeleteI do know that I could easily have children who were well into their thirties by now....a close friend was considered an old mother when she had her first at 28 and her granddaughter is now almost three. I'll be 55 this year (just so you don't need to do any more maths!) and it feels quite strange to imagine my children being adults already..(.especially as one is watching 'Pocoyo' on the TV - which is not the most stretching for his 12 years! Must go and have a little word...)
Thanks again, Annie, and it's always a pleasure to hear from you. Axxx